26-0503p - Detailed Summary

Preacher Steve introduces the evening’s lesson titled "Being a Helpmeet." He explains that the concept of a helpmeet is first introduced when God places man in the garden of Eden. He rereads the account: the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. The Lord commanded the man that he was free to eat from any tree in the garden but must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, or he would certainly die. Steve notes he is reading from the New International Version and continues into verse 18, where the Lord God says it is not good for the man to be alone.

Steve shares that this lesson was developed many years ago during premarital counseling sessions when he performed weddings as a full-time minister. He required premarital counseling to help couples understand the concept of a helpmeet. He explains that later in the Genesis account, God brings all the creatures before the man so he can name them. This process also served to help the man realize he had no suitable helper or helpmeet among them. As the animals passed by, Adam evaluated each one to determine if it could serve as a helpmeet.

A helpmeet in this context is one who can procreate and help fulfill God’s command to populate the earth. God placed humanity on the earth to join with a woman and begin populating it. While naming the animals, Adam assessed whether any were appropriate helpmeets capable of procreation with him. None were suitable. Although animals like cows, dogs, and sheep can procreate among themselves, Adam found no companion for himself. This establishes the concept of a helpmeet as one who can help procreate, be a mate, and have sexual relations. Steve emphasizes that God rules out bestiality through this process. Once Adam realized this, God caused him to fall into a deep sleep.

God took one of the man’s ribs, closed up the place with flesh, and formed a woman from it. He then brought her to the man. Adam exclaimed that this was now bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. She would be called woman because she was taken out of man. God presents her specifically as his helpmeet. Steve paraphrases Adam’s reaction as recognizing her as the one with whom he could procreate and who would be his helpmeet.

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked and felt no shame. The helpmeet concept includes companionship, living life together, making ends meet as a team, and forming families. When a family is formed, its members help one another throughout life.

Steve turns to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 to explore related thoughts on marriage versus singleness. In verses 8 and following, Paul tells the unmarried and widows that it is good for them to stay unmarried as he himself is. However, if they cannot control their passions, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Steve moves to verse 32, where Paul explains his preference for singleness: he wants believers to be free from concerns, particularly about looking after a family or pleasing a spouse.

An unmarried person can devote themselves fully to the Lord’s work without divided attention. Paul traveled extensively, planting churches and converting people to Christianity as his sole purpose. A married man, by contrast, is concerned with the affairs of this world and how to please his wife, dividing his interests. Steve clarifies that Paul is not saying marriage or family is wrong—God Himself established the family in Genesis by uniting Adam and Eve with the intent for them to build a family. There is nothing wrong with focusing on one’s wife and children’s well-being; it is what God designed. However, singleness allows undivided service to God in ways that are more challenging when married.

Drawing from his own experience as a married preacher, Steve describes leaving home for evening Bible studies around 7 o’clock and returning late, sometimes at 9 o’clock or later. His wife managed the family alone, and children often asked where their dad was. Over time, this led to children resenting their father’s job and even the church because he was frequently absent. Paul acknowledges this difficulty in balancing devotion to promoting Christianity with family responsibilities. A married man’s interests are divided.

Paul extends the principle to women: an unmarried woman or virgin can devote herself to the Lord in body and spirit, while a married woman focuses on pleasing her husband. Paul states this for their own good, not to restrict them, but to encourage undivided devotion to the Lord. He adds that if a man feels he is not acting honorably toward his betrothed virgin due to strong passions, he should marry—it is not sin. However, the one who can control himself and chooses not to marry does even better. Steve notes his thoughts may seem disjointed but urges reflection: when a minister prioritizes service, is he truly being a helpmeet to his wife, given the promises made in marriage?

Steve interjects the story of Adam and Eve’s interaction with the serpent to further illustrate the helpmeet dynamic. In Genesis chapter 3, the serpent, more crafty than any wild animal, questions the woman about God’s command not to eat from any tree. Eve correctly replies that they may eat from the garden’s trees but must not eat or even touch the fruit from the middle tree or they will die. The serpent contradicts God, saying they will not die and that eating will open their eyes to be like God, knowing good and evil. Seeing the fruit as good for food, pleasing to the eye, and desirable for wisdom, the woman eats it and gives some to her husband who was with her, and he eats. Their eyes are then opened, and they realize they are naked, sewing fig leaves for coverings.

God created Eve to be a helpmeet to both God and Adam, and Adam was likewise to be a helpmeet to her. In the conversation with the serpent, Eve demonstrates knowledge of God’s rules, which Adam had relayed to her (there is no record of God repeating the command directly to Eve). She quotes the prohibition accurately, showing Adam fulfilled his responsibility to communicate God’s instructions.

Steve explains that Adam was responsible for passing God’s instructions to Eve. During the serpent’s conversation with Eve, the interaction was heading in the wrong direction as she engaged with the wrong person. As a helpmeet, Adam should have recognized that she was playing with fire. He should have intervened, telling Eve to stop and leave with him. However, he remained silent and did not step in. The Scriptures indicate Adam was right there with her, because Eve took the fruit, ate it, and gave some to her husband who was with her. A true helpmeet helps the other live life correctly and in a way pleasing to God, guiding them to make right decisions and avoid dangerous situations. Adam was voiceless and failed to act.

Instead of taking responsibility, when confronted by God, Adam blamed the woman God had given him, saying she gave him the fruit to eat. Steve brings in this account to illustrate the true role of a helpmeet. He returns to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 to show why people marry and what a helpmeet should provide.

Steve reads from 1 Corinthians 7, verse 1 onward: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, but because of sexual immorality, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duties to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband; the same is true for the husband. They should not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time to devote themselves to prayer, then come together again so Satan will not tempt them due to lack of self-control. Paul presents this as a concession, not a command, because he prefers they remain single as he does, being able to control his sexual appetite and dedicate his life solely to God.

Steve revisits verse 32: Paul wants believers free from concern. An unmarried man focuses on the Lord’s affairs to please the Lord, while a married man is concerned with worldly affairs and pleasing his wife, resulting in divided interests. Similarly, an unmarried woman or virgin devotes herself to the Lord in body and spirit, but a married woman focuses on pleasing her husband. Paul says this for their own good, not to restrict them, but so they may live with undivided devotion to the Lord. The overall purpose is to live in devotion to the Lord whether married or single. God understands the pull of family because He created it.

If a man is worried about not acting honorably toward his engaged virgin due to strong passions, he should marry; it is not sin. But the man who has control over his will and decides not to marry does even better. He who marries does right, but he who does not marry does better. Steve uses this to begin closing the lesson.

Steve asks the audience to use their imagination. Consider a young Christian man in his teens or early twenties who loves God and wants to devote his life to promoting Christianity, perhaps as a missionary. As he grows older, into his thirties, he maintains this focus. Similarly, picture a young Christian woman in her teens or early twenties who loves God and wants to promote the Christian life by convincing others to become Christians. However, natural urges arise: she feels she ought to have children and needs a mate to procreate. This becomes harder if she spends time with married girlfriends discussing marriage, or if she wavers by going to bars or nightclubs, causing her Christian walk to weaken.

The young man sees friends marrying and starting families. He begins having improper thoughts about women, finding them attractive and imagining marriage, while knowing he should not run with certain crowds or indulge in forbidden things. This puts his Christianity in jeopardy. Both the young man and young woman are truly dedicated to God and want to be God-fearing. Eventually their paths cross; they find each other attractive, but they realize marriage might cause their devotion to God and desire to win others to Christ to waver slightly.

Steve simplifies the ideal: the girl says to the boy, and the boy to the girl, "If you marry me, I’ll help you get to heaven." This is what a helpmeet is all about. They pledge this to each other. He promises to help her get to heaven; she promises the same. When couples consider marriage, they should focus on how it affects their relationship with God and whether they can help each other spiritually. They marry, get involved in church, raise a family, and actively help one another get to heaven by encouraging attendance at services, Bible classes, and activities that promote Christianity.

If unequally yoked with someone unconcerned about spiritual matters, that person can become a roadblock to faithfulness. However, when spouses help each other get to heaven, they draw closer to God and consequently closer to each other. Marriages that endure for 50 or 60 years are those dedicated to God. God is the ultimate winner when couples remain faithful to the helpmeet concept. There is no sin in marrying; God purposed marriage for mutual help in reaching heaven. The closer one gets to God, the closer spouses become to one another.

A helpmeet serves many purposes: fighting financial challenges together, meeting family needs, and teaming up to overcome life’s difficulties. The best purpose is when spouses are spiritually suited and help each other reach heaven, making them ultimate winners. God wants His people to be winners. He provides forgiveness of sins through Jesus' sacrifice. Jesus declared He would build His church upon the rock of the confession that He is the Christ, the Son of the living God. Before ascending to heaven, Jesus commanded His disciples to go into all the world and make disciples. Becoming disciples means joining His church.

Jesus becomes the ultimate High Priest, interceding in heaven on behalf of His worshipers—those who are His disciples and members of His church. Steve extends an invitation: if anyone needs to become a member of the church, have Jesus as their priest pleading for forgiveness of sins, they have the opportunity now. The service closes as the congregation stands to sing a song of encouragement.