26-0503a Transcript

(1:02) I believe the outline says my lesson today is going to be on family leadership.

(1:10) And I don’t know just exactly where to go with this, but I threw it together, so I should know where I’m going to go with it. (1:25) We are going to be looking at family leadership, and the scripture that was read in your hearing in Ephesians, the 5th chapter, talks about how the structure of the family is ideally put together by God. (1:41) And it’s a very important thing, with the scriptures that was just read in your hearing, about not being unequally yoked.

(1:50) There is a very pertinent message that comes right out and states why God doesn’t want us to be unequally yoked. (2:02) What does it mean to be unequally yoked? (2:08) It means, basically, being married to a person who does not hold the same values as you do. (2:17) And that’s pretty much the way it is.

(2:19) Now, from a spiritual standpoint, it is also talking about in beliefs, as far as your convictions are concerned. (2:33) When I was growing up, my folks really impressed upon me the need to be concerned about who I dated and who I seriously considered to be married to. (2:49) And so they mentioned that they didn’t want me marrying out of my faith.

(2:55) And in that particular thing, I know what they were talking about, because I grew up in a German community, which basically was predominantly Lutheran and Catholic. (3:08) And so I knew that those particular faiths do not walk in harmony with the faith that is established by Jesus in His church. (3:21) And so, if you’re a member of His church, He wants you to be yoked to an individual that holds the same values as He does, and we should be holding ourselves.

(3:35) Take a look at Deuteronomy, the 7th chapter, because here God is really laying out why He doesn’t want us to marry outside of our faith. (4:01) Starting with verse 7. (4:07) I may have the wrong reading for you. (4:16) Let’s start with verse 1. (4:42) Then you must destroy them totally.

(4:47) Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. (4:53) Do not intermarry with them. (4:56) Do not give your daughters to their sons, or take their daughters for your sons.

(5:03) For they will turn your children away from following Me, to serve other gods. (5:12) And the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and will quickly destroy you. (5:18) And this is what you are to do to them.

(5:21) Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their asteroids, poles, and burn their idols in the fire. (5:30) For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. (5:36) The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be His people, His treasures, possessions.

(5:46) Through the years of being a minister and being in a position to counsel people, (5:53) I had often individuals come to me wanting to have marital counseling. (6:00) And so in those particular cases, they were concerned about the fact that they had a mixed marriage. (6:07) A mixed marriage was basically a Baptist and a Catholic, or a Methodist and a Lutheran, or Pentecostal.

(6:19) And so when you’re looking at those particular faiths and trying to homogenize them, (6:27) bringing them together so that they could be one in unity, (6:30) you knew right away that their faith was the thing that was destroying their union. (6:38) And one of the things that really sticks in my mind, and I’m not trying to be mean or anything, (6:46) but it was, say, like a Methodist married to a Catholic, or a Baptist married to a Catholic, or even a Lutheran. (6:56) And in particular, the differences between their faiths.

(7:01) And so what you had was whenever they would want to go to church, (7:08) they would have to determine where they were going to go to church and whose church they were going to follow. (7:14) And so there was discrepancies in their faith. (7:19) One of the things that really, really was a discrepancy was when they had children.

(7:29) So let’s say that the wife was the Catholic and the husband was the Baptist or the Methodist. (7:36) And so when it came time to dedicate that child, the Catholic wanted their child to be baptized and christened. (7:46) Where the Baptist or the Methodist only wanted to dedicate them, (7:51) and they did not want to go through all the things that the Catholic Church did.

(7:57) And one of the things, too, if you’re familiar, is that when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, (8:04) they have to go through studies. (8:08) And the Catholic Church is trying to convert the non-believer into becoming a Catholic. (8:14) And if that doesn’t happen, then they’re really in disarray.

(8:21) So this is one of the reasons why Paul does not want us to be unequally yoked. (8:28) And so we need to understand the fact that we need to have in common the same faith. (8:35) A belief in God, a belief that God is reconciling us to Him through Jesus, (8:40) and being baptized for the remission of our sins to enter us into Jesus' Church.

(8:47) Because we know that when we become a disciple of Jesus and are baptized into Him, (8:52) put Him on in baptism, we become a member of His Church. (8:55) And He becomes our priest, and He intercedes for us before God in Heaven (9:01) to reconcile us to God through His and to take of our sins. (9:08) So He’s asking us not to be unequally yoked.

(9:13) When we look at that in particular, we know that not only is it important for us to have the same concepts (9:21) and the same thoughts, we need to have the same appreciation for what the Scriptures have to say. (9:28) So when we look at Ephesians in the 5th chapter, we see that Paul is pointing out to us (9:40) how these instructions for Christian households is found. (9:46) In the 5th chapter, starting in verse 22, or 21 actually, (9:55) reading from the New International Version, I believe that’s what I’m reading from, (10:05) "…​submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

(10:12) Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as you do to the Lord. (10:17) For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, of which He is the Savior. (10:25) Now, as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (10:34) I want to reserve the balance of this for commentary a little bit later on (10:40) when we actually get into leadership.

(10:43) But let’s read it for the moment. (10:45) Verse 25, "…​husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, (10:54) to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, (10:59) and to present her to Himself as a radiant Church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (11:11) In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

(11:18) He who loves his wife loves himself. (11:21) After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the Church, (11:31) for we are members of His body. (11:34) For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

(11:42) This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the Church. (11:47) However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (12:01) So we’re talking about leadership, leadership in the family, (12:06) and Paul is basically pointing out to us the fact that the husband takes the leadership, is the head of the family. (12:16) And so we find that this is one of the things that requires unity as far as faith is concerned in the Scriptures and God’s will.

(12:29) Let’s take a look at 1 Corinthians, the 11th chapter, where Paul talks about the leadership one more time. (12:43) And in the 11th chapter, we are seeing, starting with verse 1, I’ll make sure I’m reading from the New International Version, (13:07) I praise you, starting with verse 2, I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. (13:20) But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

(13:33) And every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, (13:40) but every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head. (13:46) It is the same as having her head shaved, for if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off, (13:56) but it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. (14:07) A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, (14:12) but woman is the glory of man, for man did not come from woman, but woman from man.

(14:19) And neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. (14:23) It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. (14:34) Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.

(14:41) For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. (14:47) But everything comes from God. (14:50) Judge for yourself, is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? (14:56) Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, (15:04) that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? (15:07) Her long hair is given to her as a covering.

(15:12) If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice, and nor do the churches of God. (15:21) What is the subject here? (15:24) What is Paul trying to point out to us? (15:28) I commit to you, he’s not talking about the length of hair. (15:37) He’s not talking about our dress, whether a woman wears pants or is dressed or not.

(15:45) He’s not talking about those things. (15:48) He’s talking about what one might call a chain of command. (15:55) What we’re talking about here basically, as far as the chain of command, (16:00) if you have been in the military, you understand what the chain of command is all about, (16:05) and you have learned to appreciate it.

(16:09) If you, just in common sense, out on the employment, (16:13) and you go to work for a company like General Motors or Ford, (16:19) like I did with International Harvester, (16:22) you come to appreciate the fact that the chain of command must be respected and honored. (16:30) And so what is the chain of command? (16:32) The chain of command is, you have a boss, you have a foreman, and you have a worker, (16:38) and you may have someone under him. (16:41) And so the chain of command is that the boss, and you have an owner that actually owns the whole thing, (16:48) you have the owner who is the real one, but you have the boss who has to answer to him, (16:54) but the boss has to delegate his particular positions, (16:58) and so the boss then goes to the foreman, (17:01) and then the foreman goes to the employee or the worker on the line, and so on.

(17:08) And so what is exciting, or what is the purpose of the chain of command? (17:15) It gives you safety. It gives you security. (17:22) I learned this position, or these thoughts, from a seminar, (17:28) and they called it an umbrella of protection.

(17:33) It’s an umbrella of protection. (17:35) So you’ve got the boss, the owner, God, (17:37) you have Jesus, then you have the man, and then you have the wife, and then you have the children. (17:47) And so as we reflect upon that, (17:51) so the boss tells you what the foreman is supposed to get done, (17:57) the foreman is supposed to tell the employee, the line worker, what he’s supposed to do, and so on.

(18:06) So, why is it the umbrella of protection? (18:09) As you know, if you were in the military, and I wasn’t, but I understand this very well, (18:14) that if you were in the military, and a general came along and saw you as a corporal or a lieutenant, (18:23) and he sees you doing something, and he questions it, and he says, (18:28) Why are you doing that? (18:30) Because the sergeant told me to do it. (18:33) Oh, okay. (18:36) He doesn’t have any reason to take issue with him, does he? (18:39) Because he’s doing what he’s supposed to do.

(18:42) If the general doesn’t like what he’s doing, he goes to the sergeant and tells the sergeant he’s doing something else. (18:50) But as long as the person is doing what he’s supposed to be doing, (18:55) he’s superior, he’s safe. (18:59) He’s an umbrella of protection.

(19:02) So what is he saying here in 1 Corinthians 11? (19:08) He’s talking about an umbrella of protection. (19:11) So, he’s not talking about the covering of the head, or of the hair. (19:18) He’s talking about whether or not the head is covered or uncovered.

(19:22) And so the husband has God and Jesus over him. (19:27) His head is covered. (19:29) And he’s supposed to be covering his wife’s head.

(19:33) And his wife’s head is covering their children. (19:38) But if the wife steps out from under her husband to do what she wants to do, (19:43) and specifically going against what her husband asked her to do, (19:47) she’s stepping out and uncovering her head. (19:52) And so, there’s no umbrella of protection.

(19:55) Because God can come along and say, why are you doing that? (19:58) Because I want to. (20:03) Your husband didn’t tell you to do that? (20:04) No. I’m doing it because I want to.

(20:08) She’s uncovering her head. (20:10) And in so doing so, she’s covering her husband’s head. (20:14) And she’s embarrassing him and bringing him to shame.

(20:20) And not only that, she is embarrassing herself and bringing herself to shame. (20:25) The same thing is true with the children. (20:28) If they step out from under their parents' control, (20:31) they are uncovering themselves and they are covering their parents' head.

(20:37) And so, when we look at the respect here, (20:41) he’s not talking about the length of hair. (20:43) He’s talking about the position that one puts themselves into. (20:49) And so, as we reflect upon that, (20:52) we know that that structure is what God wants us to have.

(21:00) So, I’m struggling a little bit in my line of thought here. (21:03) But let’s go back to Ephesians 5. (21:30) And then the bottom part of it, (21:33) the one that I told you I would like to come back to. (21:39) He says, verse 25, (21:41) Husbands, love your wives.

(21:44) Yes, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy cleansing. (21:50) So, he’s asking the husband to have an ownership. (21:54) He’s asking the husband to realize that he has a responsibility in this family (22:00) other than just being the head of the household.

(22:03) What does being the head of the household mean? (22:06) Being the head of the household simply says (22:10) that he is responsible for what goes on in that family. (22:17) The husband is responsible for that. (22:19) Nature will tell us that.

(22:21) When you look at the various things in the world, (22:24) for example, the law, (22:27) when your child goes out and turfs somebody’s yard or breaks something, (22:33) who’s responsible? (22:35) The father is. (22:37) When the wife goes out and does something and overspends and gets himself into debt, (22:43) who’s responsible? (22:45) The father is. (22:48) The husband is.

(22:50) So, he’s responsible for everything. (22:53) When we look at the particular applications, (22:58) we can see that God made the father to be responsible for the education of his family (23:05) and the welfare and the well-being of his family. (23:08) And so, he’s supposed to teach his family (23:11) or make sure that his children are being taught (23:15) and that his children are in line.

(23:18) And if they’re not, he’s responsible for it. (23:21) And he has to make the corrections of these things. (23:26) When it comes time for finances of the family, (23:29) he is responsible for the family and the finances of the family.

(23:37) And so, he has to make sure that there’s enough income to outlast the month. (23:43) You’ve heard the comment, I’m sure, (23:46) too much month at the end of the money. (23:48) And so, then the wife, all of a sudden, (23:51) it becomes incumbent upon her to try to get a job or to come.

(23:57) No, the responsibility is the husband. (24:05) And it falls upon him. (24:07) And I just lost my…​ (24:12) For some reason, Alexa wants to talk to me.

(24:15) And I don’t want to talk to Alexa. (24:19) Sorry. (24:19) Sorry.

(24:22) So, let’s get back to where we were. (24:27) So, let’s take a look at Ephesians, the fifth chapter. (24:37) And so, he’s responsible for making sure (24:40) that the wife doesn’t have to fend for herself (24:45) and he has to look after her needs.

(24:48) If she wants to go to work and if she wants to help out the finances, (24:53) that’s his permission, obviously. (24:58) But it all depends on where you are in your own understanding (25:02) and your spiritual application with God himself. (25:08) But he’s talking about this, (25:10) that we have to be responsible for our children (25:12) and their education and bringing them up (25:15) in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

(25:18) And I see that I’m out of time. (25:20) But anyway, I want us to recognize the fact (25:23) that as he’s pointing this out, (25:27) he told the Israelites that the fathers were supposed to (25:33) educate their children as to their religion. (25:37) And so, when the Israelites crossed over to Jordan, (25:41) they were supposed to bring out stones (25:43) and stack them up on the other side.

(25:46) And what was the purpose of that? (25:48) It was an educational tool. (25:50) So, when the father was bringing his children past those stones, (25:54) the children would be directed to say, (25:57) why are those stones like that? (25:59) And then the father was supposed to explain to them (26:02) the history of Israel and how God brought them out of Egypt (26:06) and how he brought them over across the Jordan River. (26:09) And that’s what the purpose of those stones were all about.

(26:13) We have the Seder. (26:15) And even today, the Jewish family that observes the Seder (26:20) will also use it as an education tool. (26:24) The child is directed on how to ask questions.

(26:28) And then as they’re at the Seder, (26:31) the father is to answer all those questions (26:34) and educate the child in their faith. (26:40) And so, we ought to educate our children in our faith also. (26:46) And notice this.

(26:47) This is the point that I really would like for us to take a look at. (26:51) In conclusion, husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church (26:56) and gave himself up for her to make her holy, (26:58) cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (27:01) and to present to her himself as a radiant church (27:06) without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, (27:10) but holy and blameless. (27:12) In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

(27:18) He who loves his wife loves himself. (27:22) After all, no one ever hated their own body, (27:25) but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. (27:30) For we are members of his body, (27:33) and for this reason a man will leave his father and mother (27:36) and be united to his wife, (27:38) and the two will become one flesh.

(27:40) This is a profound mystery, (27:42) but I am talking about Christ and the church. (27:46) However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, (27:50) and the wife must respect her husband. (27:53) What I want to conclude with is this.

(27:57) You are not your own. (27:59) Wives, you are not your own. (28:01) I just read that.

(28:03) Husbands, realize you’re not your own either. (28:08) Oftentimes we think in terms of sexual relationships, (28:12) but that’s not the application here. (28:15) The application is your wife is concerned about her security.

(28:21) Husbands oftentimes have very little concern about their security. (28:25) Husbands, you belong to your wife, (28:29) and her wife has every right to your safety and your well-being. (28:36) If she says to you, (28:37) I want you to go get a physical, (28:40) go get a physical.

(28:41) Why? (28:42) Because she’s concerned about your well-being (28:44) and being around to help her raise her family and meet her needs. (28:49) She’s concerned about those things. (28:51) If you’re riding a motorcycle (28:52) and she doesn’t like the idea that you’re riding a motorcycle, (28:56) then she says, get rid of that motorcycle.

(29:00) Get rid of the motorcycle. (29:02) Why? (29:03) You’re not your own. (29:06) She owns you.

(29:09) You belong to her, (29:12) and she is concerned about her security. (29:15) She’s concerned about the well-being. (29:18) We’ve all gone through that.

(29:19) If there is some reason that she doesn’t like what’s happening, (29:24) you’re not your own. (29:25) You don’t own your body. (29:27) But we also know that the opposite is true of that, too.

(29:30) But most wives understand full well (29:34) the importance of them existing in that family. (29:38) Wives often pull well more than men do (29:42) that if she wasn’t there, (29:45) how the family would be in dire need. (29:49) She knows that.

(29:50) Why? (29:51) That’s the reason why she looks after her well-being. (29:54) She goes to the doctor. (29:56) She keeps her appointments.

(29:57) She makes sure that she understands her body (29:59) and that her body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. (30:03) She looks after her well-being because she knows (30:07) that if she wasn’t there, (30:11) you’d be hurting. (30:15) I know that from firsthand.

(30:20) So, who’s the leadership? (30:24) The leadership is 100% square to own a husband (30:28) because that’s what God wants. (30:31) God wants the husband to understand (30:33) that he needs to be very reasonable (30:36) and appreciative of his wife (30:38) and treat her as a weaker vessel. (30:42) To love her.

(30:44) To look after her. (30:47) The husband needs to do those things. (30:51) But the husband is responsible for (30:54) everything that goes on in that family, (30:56) the well-being, the spirituality, (30:58) and whether or not they’re all going to go to hell.

(31:02) And that’s what we’re going to talk about tonight (31:04) as far as hell means. (31:10) What does hell mean? (31:17) If there’s anyone this evening or this morning, (31:21) that needs to respond to the invitation of God, (31:26) because Jesus did come to this earth (31:28) to help us to be reconciled to him (31:32) and to move out the rifts that we might have with God (31:37) or God has with us. (31:40) He died on that cross to make it possible for us (31:43) to be reconciled to him.

(31:45) But we have to be his disciple. (31:48) Being a disciple means that we have to (31:51) put him on in baptism and become a member of his church (31:56) by putting him on in baptism. (31:59) Jesus says, (32:00) Go into all the world making disciples of men, (32:03) baptizing them in the name of the Father, (32:04) Son, and the Holy Spirit.

(32:06) Neither who is baptized shall be saved. (32:09) And so we’d like to extend to anyone (32:12) who needs to respond to that. (32:14) We also know that you may have convictions (32:17) that you need to make known and want to repent of.

(32:21) We would like to extend to you the opportunity (32:23) to do so. (32:24) All together we stand and sing a song of encouragement.